1. |
Walking Distance
04:44
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What I need, I'm not able to borrow
can't exchange, what can't be held in hand
if my memory serves me, I considered us woven together
but was the bond, as brittle as the leaves?
We'll all be waiting at the edge of the grass, come on
Or maybe talking on the hill near the road, come on
we'll kick some field goals between the trees
while there's time...
we filled the gaps with offerings of devotion
along with heat, the smell of burning dust
and assembling for whatever reason, we built our own meaning
in an age, where distance did contain
I'm feeling lifted by the sound of a phone, come on
eagerly waiting, with a space set aside, come on
we'll land some flips on the trampoline
while there's time...
Barely awake, sinking into the floor, hold on
melodies creeping, from the edge of the room, hold on
I'm thinking now I never told you enough
And now I'm here
20 something years removed
and sifting through
this evidence of us
lost within
the image of the rooms we're in
and chasing threads
connecting what we were to what we are
hindsight leaves me weak
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2. |
Tethered
03:15
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It seems easier for them
drifting in and out again
From the warmest clutch, of familiar lines
There's resistance there for me
to pull away from printed scenes
or the sweetest hiss, of the playback
a vastly different impression is left behind
a conflict of colors, and hues, misaligned
unsure of what solutions I'd find
all I know...
I leave a little more of me behind
silently envying the rest
as they casually display
the ability to summon up all their histories
Without a hint of hanging sorrow
or a somber train of thought
for me, it stings a little more than you'd expect it to
with low expectations, it seems absurd
the line between versions is hopelessly blurred
and what had once settled, is stirred
all I know...
I return with less than what I carried through
a vastly different impression is left behind
a conflict of colors, and hues, misaligned
unsure of what solutions I'd find
all I know...
I leave a little more of me...
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3. |
A Few Different Angles
04:42
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I throw the curtain open
every movement done decisively
I feel the wave of air, whether good or bad
your response is just what I wanted
I feel the ropes on my back
as the lights hit my face
this whole sequence, feels strikingly similar
to the last time
it's hard to feel like there's an absence here
when everything feels a bit distant
every step
each seemingly natural movement
catastrophic crashes to the concrete
your reaction is just what I intended
I successfully seize your attention
aggravated, yet magnetically drawn
this whole sequence, feels strikingly similar
to the last time
people wonder why you stick around
I guess you don't want to miss it, when I get what's coming
every morning is a comedown
and now I'm left ragged from the runaround
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4. |
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the land that now surrounds us
is making me weak
each past event is piling on me
not much is said
but I'm still a wreck
and sliding into view
multiple points of significance
countless creations
that bear both our names
a second of stillness that hangs in the car
release what little grip I might have
and for once
it felt justified
In searching for clarity
Or untangling the strings
I would not even hesitate
In condemning today
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5. |
A Still Life
04:16
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It's taking far too long
To build a shelter for our flawless plans
It starts to turn out wrong
it's fraught with weakness, and jagged edges
With anchors firmly set
what will we gain from the land that surrounds us?
When needs begin to change
Will we find we've encased ourselves?
Now we can't contain it
chaos from releasing
first, we gotta pin it down
Now can we agree on
what's come into focus
or are there discrepancies
It's taken far too long
To come to terms with my lack of direction
Progress is being made
give me a few more lifetimes, I'll be fine
As we stand motionless
there's an abundance of light radiating
it's mostly sent by you
it goes unnoticed that I am mostly taking
Can we start chipping
chisels on the wall like
cellmates thinking far ahead
But if we do start over
realize this transition
maybe we'll understand what we're leaving buried
for now we're trudging on
within these lines that we've drawn
(while life moves past at high speed)
the cause is held within
can't blame the places I've been
(while life moves past at high speed)
for now we're trudging on
within these lines that we've drawn
(while things fly past at high speed)
to move without regret,
without having moved yet
Still, we can't contain it
chaos from releasing
first, we gotta pin it down
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6. |
The State of Things
04:09
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proposals starting to take shape
an expedition into the obscure
we spill out into the landscape
assessing what we could endure
stretching several miles around, adopting this terrain
abandoned, through indifference, and yet it still sustains
yeah, the worst torrential rain could never drive us out,
or weaken our resolve
yeah, the only thing that could were the coming years...
A split among the collective
Between the daring, and the more serene
some differences in perspective
indications of a future scene
slipping into apathy, unaware of what it does
If it weren't for the fireflies,
I'd never know how dark it was
please, just shout from where you are, and pull me to a path,
a beacon in the haze
please, I'll leap from wherever I am, ankles be damned
I think it's kind of pathetic
what posturing can tear apart
maintaining certain aesthetics
overshadowing a hopeful start
a slow decay from absences, a fraying of the strings
If it weren't for reflections
I'd never see the state of things
Yeah, you'd figure that by now, it's safer to ignore,
the distant whispering
Yeah, I can't keep myself from circling
trying to reconcile
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7. |
Maybe for Now
03:17
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now it's getting late
I'm still pacing the room
with the phone held too tight to my ear
as I listen intently
I just might wear a groove in this carpet
needlessly fidgeting
with every object
that happens to be within reach
to distract from the gravity
this whole thing is a pretty big deal for me
constantly filled with some shimmering pulse
that I've since learned was just nothing more
than youthful exuberance
and a focus for my own obsessiveness
and I'm sure, when I hang up the phone
I'll be rushing
to get in front of my PC
just to see if you're on
now that all rationality's gone
a moment
a pause in the noise
standing with one side set alight with color
and sensing
that maybe right now
this is the pinnacle of all that comes from this
so just for now..
maybe for now....
debating with myself
whether every interaction with you was
necessary
or one massive waste of valuable time
because with this perspective
I'm grieving for the seconds I misused
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8. |
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nestled in the tree line
a haven sits alone, removed from all
a solitary window
but there's simply little need for looking out
just finding a space
on that familiar floor
that closeness is
just what I'm aching for
quiet, as the stereo screams
lying flat-backed
down in a covered pickup, stowed away
fading in and out
straddling the border of conscious
I'm grateful for the evidence
a notebook of our musings
an inadvertent roadmap
equipped with fresh ambition
Bends weaving in
long embedded details
you'll never know, how crucial your timing was
these perfect examples of solitude breeding sentiment
Fighting sleep, to conserve every minute
it's a shame to waste any single frame that's offered to me
and while my eyes may burn,
they're not preventing me
from noticing the way
you've tempered what I see
Climbing up the fire escape, escaping into your room
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9. |
Focus
06:03
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it's a lot like in the movies
boiling over with old cliché's, and narrative's past their prime
and both extremes are proven true
but I'd prefer to follow you, and keep the path scouted
a task that's taken on with reservations
impossible to equal this ideal
but I find, you're my constant focus all the time
always steal the spotlight in my mind
taken with a love that I won't hide
in pondering this scene it's clear, that there's a kind of inconsistency
but it's alright, I'll keep my head down, I won't ask why
you've got some innate ability
to pull from better sources, despite the circumstance
interacting very carefully
and masking certain parts of me
that could cloud your clarity
steadily excelling where I lack
erasing the desire to wander back
and I find
you're my constant focus all the time
always steal the spotlight in my mind
taken with a love that I won't hide
sketches that were indistinct,
have sharpened since you've been around
and it's alright, I'll keep my head down, I won't ask why
but I find
you're my constant focus all the time
always steal the spotlight in my mind
taken with a love that I won't hide
when left alone, still worrying if I can manage the uncertainty
but it's alright, I'll keep my head down, I won't ask why
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10. |
Ever-present
04:58
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packed into chairs side by side
funneled into this welcome glow
but in our minds we're riding waves
freeing ourselves from the ordinary
we were passing through the field
in the expanse behind your house
I had figured at the time
this was all I'd ever need
taking up arms against the snow
it's strange to be freezing, yet sweating
impossible odds wont scare us off
our power has yet to be realized
with our hands soaked to the bone
we are undeterred
I'm awash in light
as I stand beneath the power lines
in victory
fabricated wilderness
an occasional stab at the quiet
a willful isolation
partly wishing for permanence
a timid face across the room
with your name on full display
gently guided towards happenstance
like a sail hit by the wind
vital moments taking shape
when I was seven
didn't know it at the time, but
this was all I'd ever need....
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11. |
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12. |
Nothing Is Lost
07:32
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I wake up to the click of the door
the angular lines of light that stretch out from the window
seem intent to help soften the blow
the flow of events drawn out rather plainly
but there's no acceptable way to explain
that a bookend has firmly been placed
at the boundary of the present, and whatever remains
and I'm aching for
the version that's omitted
now and then I am pleading for
A daylight that's rewritten
at some point I developed an insensitive view
that memorials cause clutter
and they drag our focus through a darkened lens
this mindset was much more convenient for me
scratching out images, and anecdotes involving you
and ignoring the gaps it created, and attachments vacated
and I took pride in the perception of strength
but it's a lie
I kept up
to avoid
conversations about how I felt
or what's missing
or what damage
might be done
as I filtered through these moments
I saw monuments to those essential few,
who made things meaningful
maybe this is just a form of paying respects
in the only way that feels lasting to me
and I wonder if these contributions
are a desperate attempt to leave something of me behind
but as painful as it's been to hear these reminders
I still feel compelled to carry them along
tucked away like a keepsake that I can let myself tumble down into
and believe for a second
that it's all still within reach
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Amber Dust Sandown, New Hampshire
Solo singer songwriter from southern NH.
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