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Nothing Is Lost

from Nothing Is Lost by Amber Dust

/

lyrics

I wake up to the click of the door
the angular lines of light that stretch out from the window
seem intent to help soften the blow
the flow of events drawn out rather plainly
but there's no acceptable way to explain
that a bookend has firmly been placed
at the boundary of the present, and whatever remains

and I'm aching for
the version that's omitted
now and then I am pleading for
A daylight that's rewritten

at some point I developed an insensitive view
that memorials cause clutter
and they drag our focus through a darkened lens
this mindset was much more convenient for me
scratching out images, and anecdotes involving you
and ignoring the gaps it created, and attachments vacated
and I took pride in the perception of strength

but it's a lie
I kept up
to avoid
conversations about how I felt
or what's missing
or what damage
might be done

as I filtered through these moments
I saw monuments to those essential few,
who made things meaningful
maybe this is just a form of paying respects
in the only way that feels lasting to me
and I wonder if these contributions
are a desperate attempt to leave something of me behind
but as painful as it's been to hear these reminders
I still feel compelled to carry them along
tucked away like a keepsake that I can let myself tumble down into
and believe for a second
that it's all still within reach

credits

from Nothing Is Lost, released March 26, 2021

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Amber Dust Sandown, New Hampshire

Solo singer songwriter from southern NH.

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